He seems nice and friendly. 6 months down the road, you find out after much heartache that he’s one major jerk. How did this happen? The bad news is that you’re going to meet people on Christian dating sites only to find after it’s way to late that he’s a major jerk. The good news is that with a little knowledge and practice, you should be able to pick up warning signs in the first few dates. This will give you plenty of time to walk away before you get in too emotionally involved with a jerk.
We all have a tendency to overlook character flaws especially during the first few dates. These signs almost always become apparent only after two people have spent considerable amount of time together. But if you know what to look for early, you can save yourself from a lot of heartache and pain down the road.
Here are some early warning signs that your jerk radar should pick up if the person you are dating is a jerk in disguise:
1. Watch out for the guy who’s trying too hard to impress you. This is usually a sign that he is very insecure and insecurity is often a precursor of jerk behavior. Your jerk radar should go on alert when he starts talking up his accomplishments and bragging about how much money he makes. I know that everyone wants to make a good first impression and many men feel they need to impress especially early on in the dating process but it’s hard to tell if all the bravado is just nerves or something more. To figure out what it is, keep your eyes open on the second and third dates. If this behavior continues, you may want to cut your losses early since he is most likely showing you his true personality and not just a case of nerves.
2. On the first few dates, make note of the way he treats other people. How does he act when he does or says something embarrassing? Does he get angry and defensive or can he laugh about it with you? Sure he may be showering you with attention since he wants to make a good impression, but how is he treating the people in line at the movie, or the wait staff at the restaurant? If he gets upset or is rude to other people this again could be a sign he’s a jerk in disguise.
3. If possible, try to meet his family and friends fairly early on. The way he treats his family and friends, and how they treat him, can be a very good indication of how he relates to people.
4. Does he seem genuinely interested in you or is he more interested in talking about his own interests. Does he make subtle criticisms of your job, your clothes, your weight, your friends, your hairstyle in the pretense of making a joke? If so, he is already revealing his standing in jerkdom and it’s time to giddy on by.
Obviously, not all of these things would mean that someone is a potential jerk, but it could mean it will be hard to have a good relationship with them. It’s best to cut ties early on, than to ignore warning signs and have to deal with ending the relationship after trouble starts. Just make sure when you are keeping an eye out for jerk behavior, that you don’t begin to expect perfection. You will need to find a balance. A good guy won’t be perfect but he won’t feel the need to treat you poorly in order to feel like a man.
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